Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Happy No Shave November to most of the women who shop at walmart.
NFL to donate $1m for disaster relief. Eagles were excited until they found out it was for Sandy victims.
"If shooting heroin is wrong, I don't wanna be right." - Tim Tebow
Looking forward to seeing what exciting new Star Wars adventures will be cooked up by the dream factory that brought us Mars Needs Moms!
Chris Christie accused of "throwing Romney under the bus." It's nicer than forcing Mitt to sit next to him on the bus and share an armrest.
I've learned a lot of scary things about myself through targeted facebook ads.
If a tree falls in the forest and a person doesn't tweet it, does that person even exist?
Teenage pregnancy will be at an all time low because of #NoShaveNovember and Black Ops 2
Ever since I watched that Glee marathon my vagina's been killing me.
Chris Brown went as a terrorist for Halloween, which is only fair considering how many terrorists probably went as Chris Brown.
Feeling lonely and disconnected might take a picture of some bullshit so I get some Instagram likes
According to WebMD, I died about a week ago.