Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
iPhone 5: Still no toothpick 🙁
i wonder how much i drank last night in dog beers?
Can't wait for the new iPhone 5. I've had this mint condition, perfectly good, antique iPhone 4 for over a year now. Embarrassing.
Wait “American Hoggers” and “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” are 2 different shows?
Workers at Foxconn factory today start assembling iPhone 6.
The new iPhone, while larger, is still not quite large enough to fill the hole in my soul. Excellent news for Hostess Brands.
I guess "Baby Powder" just sounds better than "Adult Balls Powder".
So, Skrillex walks into a bar and orders a milk ... Bartender says 'this is a bar, we don't have milk'... Skrillex says 'womp womp womp'.
In 2,000 years, when they find ancient Apple stores, they will guess they were ancient temples dedicated to the god of fall harvest.
If I could only take ONE book to the moon, I'd make sure that book had a vagina.
When a single woman rejects you it means you're less appealing than a Lean Cuisine and some Gilmore Girls reruns.
You are a criminal and should be in prison. RT @chrisbrown: I’m an artist and this is art.