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Cyber Monday, Eli Whitney, and Tabasco

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Cyber Monday, Eli Whitney, and Tabasco
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today everyone is tweeting about Cyber Monday, although I think some people might have missed the point. Plus, we learn how Eli Whitney could have increased his street cred.

Enjoy!

To celebrate cyber Monday I just ordered a Disney Rapunzel Princess, then beat the shit out of my computer. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Next time someone says “I don’t have a racist bone in my body!”, ask “Then why are they all white?” 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

#CyberMonday seems like one of those fake holidays that was made up just to get people to buy things, like Christmas. 50 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

No one really cared all that much when the Grinch stole Hanukkah. 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

If Eli Whitney had any street cred, he would’ve invented the cotton gin and juice. 14 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

When discussing “cost of human life” in Black Friday aftermath coverage, measure it against savings on that fantastically marked-down Wii. 10 minutes ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

Everyone thinks parents on Facebook are lame, so I’ve been going through and liking all of Luke’s pics just to annoy him. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

There’s month old curry in the fridge but I don’t want to throw it out because I’ll have to wash the tupperware. #FirstWorldProblems 44 minutes ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

I always thought I’d be older by now. 53 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

All you need to have is a really nice face and you can make money and get followers on twitter. 49 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Our #CyberMonday deals for third-parties: 20,000 users’ personal information for $5,000. Just kidding (or am I?). 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Is it possible for an atheist to love Tebow? God only knows. 42 minutes ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

Oh Jesus! Too much Tabasco on my eggs. IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!! I can’t handle spicy foods. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Sometimes when I want to feel dirty, I’ll go and read Steve Jobs’ biography on my Kindle. 41 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Black Friday. Cyber Monday. They’re just the hors d’ouvres to the main course: Lexus’ December to Remember. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

A/S/L? #CyberMonday 37 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

In preparation for Cyber Monday, I just pepper sprayed my computer… 15 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Cyber Monday, Eli Whitney, and Tabasco
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  • http://www.aliexpress.com/fm-store/908930 anna

    “CyberMonday seems like one of those fake holidays that was made up just to get people to buy things, like Christmas.”

    I agree this point.

    But I don’t have Cyber Monday. My website Without Traffic