Chris Hansen, the Heimlich, and Candidates’ Google History
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Can Mexicans go to Heaven? #RomneyGoogleHistory
#ObamaGoogleHistory do they make electric dog collars for Vice Presidents?
I don’t like underage girls, it’s just been my dream to meet my idol Chris Hanson while eating fresh cookies.
I respect that Gov Romney had binders full of women; most men just keep all that stuff on an external hard drive.
I see “Darth Vader’s wife” is trending on Yahoo. Did someone find another piece of papyrus?
I often call my stepson a “bitch” and my stepdaughter a “dickhead” to show them the importance of gender equality.
Is there a three second rule for babies?
Every religion is essentially a book club that reads the same book over and over again.
There is no graceful way to stop giving someone the Heimlich when it turns out they didn’t need the Heimlich.
I hope that dude’s dad never got around to listening to cats in the cradle
How many times do humans laugh? #RomneyGoogleHistory
How many hours before a debate can you take an Ambien? #ObamaGoogleHistory