Chris Brown, The Fray, and White Wine

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Chris Brown, The Fray, and White Wine
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    We support Chris Brown is trending worldwide. Did he beat Twitter up as well?(image) 43 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    That’s the sound of every Android user scrolling through years of photos trying to pick the best way to introduce themselves on @Instagram.(image) 8 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    So the clerk at JC Penny can adjust your bra & she’s “helpful” & “courteous” but I do it & Im “creepy” & “the quarterback for the Steelers.”(image) 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    American patriotism down 22% since The Fray performed the Star-Spangled Banner.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Ryan Leaf arrested for second time in four days, indicating he is very serious about landing a roster spot with the Bengals(image) 1 day ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    RT @carsonclark @FletcherTubbs @jimdunaway I hear to break up Kentucky riots and get everyone to go home, police started a football game.(image) 7 hours ago via Twitterrific ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Sarah Palin on “Today” show. Willard Scott wishes her worldview a Happy 150th Birthday!(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Al Qaeda just claimed responsibility for The Fray’s performance of The National Anthem last night.(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Home Depot. Office Depot. Home Office Depot. MERGE YOU IDIOTS.(image) 23 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    We Support Chris Brown’s arms for him when they get tired from punching women in the face.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    White wine is just “I’m disappointed in my husband juice”, right?(image) 39 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Tuesday is an entire loaf of bread of just the end pieces.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    DATING HARD! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU NEVER BE PERFECT COUPLE LIKE BEN AND JERRY!(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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