Chris Brown, The Fray, and White Wine

Josh WolfordLife

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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

We support Chris Brown is trending worldwide. Did he beat Twitter up as well?(image) 43 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

That's the sound of every Android user scrolling through years of photos trying to pick the best way to introduce themselves on @Instagram.(image) 8 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

So the clerk at JC Penny can adjust your bra & she's "helpful" & "courteous" but I do it & Im "creepy" & "the quarterback for the Steelers."(image) 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

American patriotism down 22% since The Fray performed the Star-Spangled Banner.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Ryan Leaf arrested for second time in four days, indicating he is very serious about landing a roster spot with the Bengals(image) 1 day ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

RT @carsonclark @FletcherTubbs @jimdunaway I hear to break up Kentucky riots and get everyone to go home, police started a football game.(image) 7 hours ago via Twitterrific ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Sarah Palin on "Today" show. Willard Scott wishes her worldview a Happy 150th Birthday!(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Al Qaeda just claimed responsibility for The Fray's performance of The National Anthem last night.(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Home Depot. Office Depot. Home Office Depot. MERGE YOU IDIOTS.(image) 23 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

We Support Chris Brown's arms for him when they get tired from punching women in the face.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

White wine is just "I'm disappointed in my husband juice", right?(image) 39 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Tuesday is an entire loaf of bread of just the end pieces.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

DATING HARD! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU NEVER BE PERFECT COUPLE LIKE BEN AND JERRY!(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Josh Wolford
Josh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer. Follow him on Twitter: @joshgwolf Instagram: @joshgwolf Google+: Joshua Wolford StumbleUpon: joshgwolf