Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
After hearing about PBS firing Fred Willard, I'd like to announce that I will no longer be masturbating to PBS.
Really curious to know where Chick Fil-A stands on Syria
Katie Holmes to appear on Broadway. I'd have thought she'd have tired of acting after the last five years.
Jodie Sweetin is trending right now. I hope she's ok with it, otherwise, how rude.
Not to be outdone by Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy, Colonel Sanders announces he loses sleep knowing that "negroes eat his chicken."
Critics urge Penn State to move the Paterno statue where no one will ever see it again: the ESPNU channel.
E-petitions: For when you care, but not too much.
People with a Bluetooth look like they're communicating with Douchebag Mission Control.
Two grapes and a TicTac turn any glass of wine into sangria as far as I'm concerned.
"Going back in Hitler to kill time." -Hitler's bored gay lover
No one is ever smiling in line at Taco Bell.
Hell is other people on Facebook.