Can We Trust?
On Sunday, I sent out an email to all the people on my lists. The email contained a very simple message, “Peace be upon you.” I wasn’t prepared for the reaction. I got an avalanche of replies.
Most of them were from people who are in a stressful situation and genuinely needed such a message, and were understandably grateful. However there were also those who wanted to know what the “catch” was. In other words, what was I trying to sell?
People today find it hard to believe that someone, they barely know would care enough about them, to send them a message, which is not a sales pitch.
What does this tell you? What it tells me is that the world has gotten to a place of no trust. Is this view justified? Perhaps. I know that most of have been hurt and disappointed in life. Sometimes by spouses and partners, the people whom we have trusted the most.
This has had the effect that it shook our trust in people in general. Because we started thinking, who can we trust? If the people we thought we could trust, cannot be trusted?
Many, including myself, have trusted other people and lost thousands of dollars, in the process. Where does that leave us? Can we live life, let alone live it fully, without trusting? The answer is No. To trust is to risk. To live life fully is to risk. To win is to risk. There is no winning, without risking.
I have overcome this dillema, a long time ago by telling myself that all people are essentially the same. We all have the potential to become either good or bad. I no longer think of someone as inherently good or inherently bad, but that all have a potential to become either. Because of this attitude I’m not particularly surprised, although I may be disappointed, when certain individuals do certain unexpected things.
A spouse who’s partner cheated on her may have a hard time, trusting that person again. They are faced with the question of whether to trust or not to trust. To trust again obviously leaving them vulnerable and open to be hurt again. There are no guarantees that if you trust, that you will not get hurt again.
If this person has hurt you several times before, chances are he might again, but not necesarily. You have to decide for yourself if the relationship is worth saving and if you are prepared to take the risk.
Many have decided to trust and are living happy lives, others haven’t and may live happy lives or may not. But those who are living happy lives with the person who disappointed them, only do so because they decided to “trust” that person again in spite of what he or she has done before.
Are you in a relationship right now? Can you trust the person you are in a relationship or in a business with? I don’t know, only you can decide? There are many things you have to look at. But one thing I know and that I can tell you is that trusting nobody, won’t get you anywhere. There is a saying, trusting all people is folley, but trusting none is even more foolish.
Trust not only involves your partner or somebody close to you. It involves trusting the security company, you have hired to look after your house during your vacation, that they will not steal your things.
It means trusting the Police officer who stops you on the highway, that he will not rob or rape you. Everything we do in life carries a risk. Even just crossing the street in front of your house, you face the risk of being run over by a car, but you trust that it won’t happen. When you post a letter you trust that the mail company will deliver it safely and on-time. When you deposit your money in the bank you trust that bank employees will not steal it and that they will calcualte your interest properly. When you pray you trust that your prayer will be answered.
So, to sum it up. To trust is to risk, but there can be no winning without risking. In fact, there can be no living without trusting. Having said that, be careful who you trust, for there are many wolves who prey on unsuspecting folks. In the same breath, let me say that there are also honest people who genuinely want to help you, and of course, help themselves in the process. They too trust that you will support them. I have seen many lives change dramatically in my lifetime, including my own. And in many cases the catalyst was something someone said, or a book they read.
Leonard Roos has touched and helped change the lives of
many through his coaching. For more revealing insights, visit
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