Burt Reynolds Hospitalized With Nasty Bout Of Flu
Burt Reynolds, everyone’s favorite badass, has been hospitalized after coming down with a severe case of the flu bug that’s going around.
Reynolds apparently had the symptoms for several days and was trying to deal with it in his own badass way, but it finally got the better of him and he checked into a hospital. His reps say that despite being severely dehydrated, he’s expected to make a full recovery.
The flu has taken down thousands of people so far this year and has even caused several deaths. Some states have declared medical emergencies as their hospitals are having to turn people away due to overcrowding. The CDC warns that very young children and the elderly are most susceptible to the virus; as always, the best defense is constant hand-washing, especially after coming into contact with publicly-used surfaces or handling money. Many grocery stores have taken to placing anti-bacterial wipes beside their stash of shopping carts for customers to use on the germ-laden trolley they put their food in. Wipe that sucker down, people, and then nuke the entire thing from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure. If that doesn’t do the trick, have some Influenza Sorbet and call in sick, because your co-workers don’t want to be in the same room with an incubus of viral plague.