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Brangelina, Cory Booker, and North Korea

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Brangelina, Cory Booker, and North Korea
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

I’m pretty sure that horribly sad sound is Jennifer Aniston weeping in the corner. #brangelina #sorryJen(image) 9 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

TLC Show Idea: ‘SCARF ACE.’ Flamboyantly gay dude who is a whiz at making scarves!(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Not to be outdone by Cory Booker, Chris Christie just ran into a bakery and saved a tray of Cinnamon Rolls from burning.(image) 13 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

CNBC’s motto should be “Adding excitement to financial coverage by moving the camera around for no reason.”(image) 8 minutes ago via HTC Peep ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Poor old North Korea. They should start with something smaller than a rocket launch. Like a raffle or something.(image) 13 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The shortest distance between two points is betting a cab driver $20 bucks he can’t get you there in 10 minutes.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Billy Joel didn’t start the fire. But Cory Booker put it out. #CoryBookerStories(image) 5 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

North Korea: “Yeah, the test failed, but at least we didn’t try to re-make The Three Stooges”(image) 18 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Maybe sharks are angry because they can’t hug :( (image) 16 hours ago via txt ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

North Korea’s missile went down so fast that it’s code name has been changed to ‘The Kardashian”.(image) 20 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Going to Disneyland. It’s sort of like a zoo where you can go to see unhappy families trapped in cute little environments.(image) 18 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If you’re feeling bad about yourself, keep in mind that Brad Pitt is engaged to Billy Bob Thornton’s sloppy seconds.(image) 25 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Twitter doesn’t allow time for that special part of the brain that says, “Wait, that’s not funny.”(image) 58 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

That’s not actually my blood and flesh. Stop being gross.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

North Korea launched a rocket that failed to go all the way up. I call that “projectile dysfunction.”(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Brangelina, Cory Booker, and North Korea
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