Barry Bonds, The Facebook Timeline, and 99 Cent Stores
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, we have tweets about Barry Bonds, Christopher Hitchens, and Tim Tebow. We also learn why dogs might be starting to get a little mad at us.
The US government has reportedly spent more than $75 MILLION to get Barry Bonds a sentence of probation & house arrest.
Still bummed that God killed Christopher Hitchens.
Facebook Timeline tells you how many people wrote on your wall for your birthday each year, so you can see how far you’ve come/fallen.
dollar slots are like tim tebow: they dont do anything for three quarters
We’re probably calling every dog by its wrong name.
LL Cool J’s mother is a real instigator.
I wish instead of reading “it’s complicated” people’s relationship statuses just said ” I’m fucking a guy who won’t call me his girlfriend”
On an airplane with the door about to close. Not sure if I have enough time to download Words With Friends & get kicked off.
Do you think Herman Cain’s back to figuring out a way to construct a crust entirely out of pepperoni?
BREAKING: Job interviews of the future: “Well, your resume speaks well of your abilities. Now let’s check out your Facebook Timeline.”
I like going to 99 Cent stores because it’s like getting a sneak peek of the world after an Apocalypse
barry bonds was sentenced to spend 30 days in his beverly hills mansion. i hope the feds are pleased with their efforts
Do u realize w/out this hilariously fun Tebow story sports would be left w/ nothing but alleged pedophiles and coke dealers?
DEAR BARRY BONDS: You should totally open a chain “Barry Bonds Bail Bonds & Baseball Bulking Boutiques.” You’re welcome.