AXE Body Spray Gets School Shutdown, 8 Hospitalized
Bro, sometimes you just gotta spray solvent aerosol deodorants under your pits to get you smelling fresh for the ladies, you know what I mean? Slicking back the hair, sporting the sunglasses, and swag can only do so much for a pre-pubescent boy to evolve into a man. Everybody knows the cool rule of school says that the more you drench yourself with a full can of Axe body spray, the more likely you’ll become alpha; it’s all about presence, even if it causes a school-wide shut down, you know that the ends justify the means.
According to The Smoking Gun, last Wednesday at Medgar Evers College Preparatory School in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, eight students were hospitalized and two others were taken to their own family doctors after a young student released copious amounts of AXE body spray in a sixth grade classroom at 1 PM. The Department of Education released a statement confirming that the school was temporarily closed on Wednesday. Emergency crews scrambled to the school to investigate the “hazardous” smell.
The statement from the education departments notes that “disciplinary action is pending” for the hip and happening well smelled student.
Sadly, this is not the first time that Axe body spray has caused problems in schools around America. A Pennsylvania high school had to downright ban the spray earlier this March after a student was hospitalized after being exposed to its fumes. Back in 2012, Connecticut high school officials said that a fire alarm went off after a student used an “overabundance” of the spray in a locker room.
Users on Reddit shared their own thoughts and personal horror stories:
Axe kind of markets itself as the ultimate scent of seduction, with women going absolutely bonkers for men who “spray more and get more”. The following video accurately portrays exactly what will happen the more that you spray Axe body spray onto your body:
You’ve just witnessed the “Axe Effect”, bro, get used to it. It’s known to trigger “increased attention” from “eager, and attractive female pursuers.”
But bro, despite the official story, they’re probably just haters.