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Author Archive for: ‘Lex’

School Sorry About Black History Month Lunch Menu

Fried chicken, watermelon, and cornbread – what’s not to love for the lunch menu of Black History Month at an all-girls Catholic school? Well, when you’re Principal Nancy Libby of Carondelet High School for Girls in Concord, California, you’ll wind up having to hold an assembly to discuss the incident as a means of appeasing upset students and parents. Buttered …

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Oklahoma State Rep. Wants To Ban All Marriages

Oklahoma state representative Mike Turner (R-Edmond) may look like Sam The Wise, but don’t be fooled into thinking their feats are similar; while they both want to destroy rings that represent powerful bonds, the former wishes to end all bands of matrimony for the sake of keeping same sex marriage illegal. Armed with a shell bill – a proposal that …

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Shooting In Columbia Mall: 3 Dead Including Gunman

Three people including the gunman have died in a shooting in Columbia Mall in Howard County, Maryland, Howard County Police said. The mall is planted in the center of the town, a suburb shared by both Washington and Baltimore. Police arrived on the scene after a call came in at 11:15 AM on Saturday that reported shots were fired. Three …

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Sam’s Club Will Lay Off 2% Of Its Workers

In its largest wave of job cuts in four years, Wal-Mart Stores Inc announced Friday that it would be cutting 2 percent (2,300 jobs) of its workforce at its Sam’s Club retail warehouse chain; Sam’s Club has an estimated 116,000 U.S. employees with 600 locations nationwide. The layoffs are a reaction to compete with big name rivals like members-only warehouse …

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Cannibal Rat-Infested Ghost Ship Headed For The UK?

Adrift in the North Atlantic Sea swirls Lyubov Orlova, an unmanned Yugoslavian-built hulk cruise ship with a crew of cannibalistic rats. “She is floating around out there somewhere,” Pim de Rhoodes, a Belgian salvage hunter who seeks Lyubov Orlova, told The Sun. “There will be a lot of rats and they eat each other. If I get aboard I’ll have …

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Apple Pays $32.5 Mil. To Parents Who Didn’t Consent

Unintentional (or intentional) digital purchases have been a rising epidemic for parents who’ve allowed their offspring free reign over their iTunes login and credit card. Last Wednesday, the U.S. Federal Trade Commission announced that Apple Inc. will refund at least $32.5 million to U.S. consumers after ongoing complaints were made about charges concerning children purchasing mobile apps without their parents’ …

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Monster Energy Drinks Investigated By Attorneys

Your company may want to stop pushing the envelope of your product if it has a history for being a potential causation of five deaths from reports by the Food and Drug Administration. Monster Beverage Corporation, the makers of the popular Monster Energy drink has been pitted against the combined forces of east and west: a New York state attorney …

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Kanye West Promises Not To Talk Shi* For Six Months

A day before New Year’s Eve (Monday) on stage in Toronto for his final gig of his Yeezus tour, a glowing and introspective Kanye West looked deep into his audience, sincerely admitting his plans for the next year: to not talk shit for the next six months. Doing what he does best by talking about himself, West stated to his …

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Meth-Head Masturbator Man Subdued By 15 Cops

One day you’re walking in the bar to enjoy a pint with your mates, the next thing you know, a guy fends off a dozen or more cops while masturbating at them. Though he claims he has no recollection of it, Andrew Frey, 37, of Beaverton, Oregon, was high on methamphetamine, masturbating, and subdued by 15 police officers at Iggy’s …

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Justin Bieber Officially Retires

T’was the night before Christmas, all calm on the net. Not a pop star was twerking with future regret. Justin Bieber posted on Twitter, his retirement there, in hopes that all of his fans would still care. “My beloved beliebers” he typed with his thumbs, as he gleefully smiled, his face full of dumb. “I’m officially retiring” he finished his tweet, …

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The Top 5 Most Intelligent Dog Breeds

Out of a surveyed 122 veterinary professionals, these five dog breeds were voted as the most intelligent, according to VetStreet.com. Of course, not all canines are made the same. Often, one can find that based off anecdotal experiences with their lovable fur ball, they find their dogs to be some of the most brilliant beasts bestowed on God’s green earth. …

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Buy Your Occupy Wall Street Poster at Wal-Mart

Since its conception by anti-consumerist Canadians Kalle Lasn and Micah White on September 17, 2011, Occupy Wall Street (OWS) protested against the widening income gap between the rich and the poor, as well as many other economic injustices in America. Wal-Mart is the perfect example of what the Occupy Movement is against: High CEO-to-worker pay ratio; Michael Duke, Wal-Mart’s CEO …

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