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Author Archive for: ‘Lex’

Sober Driver Arrested For Drunk Driving

On February 20th, 2013, Milwaukee County Deputy Joseph Quiles, with the airport division of the Sheriff’s Office, was working night shift by General Mitchell International Aiport. After making his rounds patrolling, he blew through a stop sign on to Howell Avenue, and t-boned a Camry, sending it spinning and crashing into a tree. The driver, 25-year-old Tanya Weyker wound up …

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Waffle House Robbed By Man With Pitchfork

Reality is stranger than fiction, and sometimes you have to creative with the robbery process. In Norcross, Georgia, police are searching for Jeffery Wooten, a 50-year-old man that robbed Buford highway’s Waffle House with a pitchfork on Thursday night. Surveillance photos unveiled Mr. Wooten with a purple ski-mask and pajamas (some Hugh Hefner outfit) yielding an iron pitchfork with a …

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Video: Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos

If the internet had to be summarized in one word, it would be ‘pussy’ – the vulgar slang for a woman’s genitalia and the informal use of the word cat. Yet, the versatility of the internet’ content isn’t limited to just those two hairy beasts alone, as viral videos come in different forms of attractions. Hamsters dining on miniaturized versions …

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The Atari E.T. Game Land Fill Legend

The year is 1983. The Alamogordo Daily News reported in September that between 10-20 (actually 14) semi-trucks coming from a storehouse in El Paso, Texas, traveled 90 miles to a landfill in Alamogordo, New Mexico. At night, they would unload, cover deep within the earth, and seal with concrete, Atari boxes, cartridges, consoles, and the shame brought with their creation. …

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Clippers Owner: Don’t Bring Black People To My Games

Come reader, as we glimpse into the vain and amoral ponderings of the filthy rich and the honesty among the people that love them. Donald Sterling is the National Basketball Association’s (NBA) Los Angeles Clippers owner. In 1981 he bought the Clippers for $12.5 million – a team now worth $575 million according to Forbes. Sterling is a billionaire and …

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Ronald McDonald Officially A Hipster

Ronald McDonald is changing his style. He got rid of the goofy ass yellow jumpsuit and got a tailored, well-fitting “whimsical new red blazer” blessed with embroideries, paired with some skinny, cheese colored hipster pants that ride up the crotch seam; swag. Through his company’s account, Mr. McDonald is increasing his presence through social media channels around the world. The …

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The NYPD’s Twitter Campaign Ended Up Like This

Twitter campaigns for organizations and businesses don’t always turn out the way they were intended. On Tuesday, @NYPDnews, the official New York City Police Department’s Twitter account, attempted a social media outreach that ultimately back fired, asking: “Do you have a photo with a member of the NYPD? Tweet us & tag it #myNYPD. It may be featured on our …

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Powdered Alcohol Coming To Stores In Fall

In fall of this year you’re going to be strolling through the booze section of a Safeway and notice a little black package labeled “Palcohol” – powdered alcohol you can mix with water, liquids, and food. Yes, food. This week, The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau signed off seven flavors of Pacohol: V (vodka), R (rum), Cosmopolitan, Mojito, …

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Gangs of Chihuahuas Invade Arizona Town, Hunt Kids

Satan. Satan with four legs, aka, tiny chihuahuas are causing chaos in the Phoenix suburb of Maryvale, Arizona. Alongside their mega poop parties, furious lip licking orgies, and chasing school children, the humans over at animal control fear their rapid reproduction tactics. This year, over 6,000 calls were made to animal control concerning the wild little hellions. “We compared the …

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Bloomberg Funds $50 Million To New Gun Control Group

On Wednesday, former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that he’ll be setting plans in motion to spend $50 million towards tightening gun control. The billionaire philanthropist’s money will fund a campaign group that aims to reduce gun violence across the United States, with hopes to win over the “hearts and minds of Americans” on “gun violence prevention.” Vowing to …

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Selfie In Front Of A Train? That’s A Paddlin’

It was a delightful afternoon, Michael thought. Taking selfies with equipment he bought. So he stood by a train, which caused him some pain. “My face did the boot it did caught.” Enter Doofus McGee, AKA Jared Michael. In the YouTube video you see above, in the description box, Michael typed: “I tried to take a selfie while a train …

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Mr. Poo Is India’s Anti-Public Defecation Mascot

Warning: Those who have a weak stomach should not read this story. According to Unicef, around 620 million people (half the population) in India alone poops in public; that’s around 143,300,482 lbs. of feces every day. The rampant rise of excrement leads to higher risks in bacterial and virus contaminations of water, which is, to say the least, very unhealthy …

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