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About Alex Williams

Alex Williams is a contract writer for WebProNews. He enjoys cooking new meals and swimming while listening to music. Follow him on Twitter: @alexjdwilliams, or send him a good ol' fashioned e-mail at: Alexander.JD.Williams@gmail.com
Video: Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos

If the internet had to be summarized in one word, it would be ‘pussy’ – the vulgar slang for a woman’s genitalia and the informal use of the word cat. Yet, the versatility of the internet’ content isn’t limited to …

The Atari E.T. Game Land Fill Legend

The year is 1983. The Alamogordo Daily News reported in September that between 10-20 (actually 14) semi-trucks coming from a storehouse in El Paso, Texas, traveled 90 miles to a landfill in Alamogordo, New Mexico. At night, they would unload, …

Clippers Owner: Don’t Bring Black People To My Games

Come reader, as we glimpse into the vain and amoral ponderings of the filthy rich and the honesty among the people that love them. Donald Sterling is the National Basketball Association’s (NBA) Los Angeles Clippers owner. In 1981 he bought …

Ronald McDonald Officially A Hipster

Ronald McDonald is changing his style. He got rid of the goofy ass yellow jumpsuit and got a tailored, well-fitting “whimsical new red blazer” blessed with embroideries, paired with some skinny, cheese colored hipster pants that ride up the crotch …

The NYPD’s Twitter Campaign Ended Up Like This

Twitter campaigns for organizations and businesses don’t always turn out the way they were intended. On Tuesday, @NYPDnews, the official New York City Police Department’s Twitter account, attempted a social media outreach that ultimately back fired, asking: “Do you have …

Powdered Alcohol Coming To Stores In Fall

In fall of this year you’re going to be strolling through the booze section of a Safeway and notice a little black package labeled “Palcohol” – powdered alcohol you can mix with water, liquids, and food. Yes, food. This week, …

Gangs of Chihuahuas Invade Arizona Town, Hunt Kids

Satan. Satan with four legs, aka, tiny chihuahuas are causing chaos in the Phoenix suburb of Maryvale, Arizona. Alongside their mega poop parties, furious lip licking orgies, and chasing school children, the humans over at animal control fear their rapid …

Bloomberg Funds $50 Million To New Gun Control Group

On Wednesday, former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that he’ll be setting plans in motion to spend $50 million towards tightening gun control. The billionaire philanthropist’s money will fund a campaign group that aims to reduce gun violence across …

Selfie In Front Of A Train? That’s A Paddlin’

It was a delightful afternoon, Michael thought. Taking selfies with equipment he bought. So he stood by a train, which caused him some pain. “My face did the boot it did caught.” Enter Doofus McGee, AKA Jared Michael. In the …

Mr. Poo Is India’s Anti-Public Defecation Mascot

Warning: Those who have a weak stomach should not read this story. According to Unicef, around 620 million people (half the population) in India alone poops in public; that’s around 143,300,482 lbs. of feces every day. The rampant rise of …

This Is How Leonardo Dicaprio REALLY Dances

It keeps popping up on your Facebook feed but you’re not sure what the hell it is. One could say it’s the modern day version of Lollapalooza, or, arguably, Woodstock. It’s where the resurrection of Tupac via hologram happened, where Jack White had …

USDA Banning All Junk Food In Schools On July 1

Dear lovers of freedom, Say goodbye to your Sour Warheads, your gummy bears, your Wonder Balls, your Big League Chew, and putting Bugles on the end of your fingertips – they’re gone. Well, at least in your public school system. The …

Student Gets Psych. Evaluation For Pencil Twirling

Listen. It’s okay to have your Nerf Guns, your first person shooter video games, and maybe your second amendment – but by God, if you even so much as engage in pencil gymnastics suggesting anything more than mere stimulation out …

PETA Wanted Jeffrey Dahmer’s Home To Become A Diner

(Warning: the following describes a man whose crimes were against humanity.) If you’re unfamiliar with Jeffrey Dahmer, then all you need to know is that he was a serial killer and sex offender who: Killed, raped, and dismembered 17 men …

Monster Chicken Dinosaurs Were Real

What do you get when you cross Randy Macho Man Savage, Beyoncé’s thighs, a wild chicken, and the unimaginable face of pure excitement from the bowels of hell? Why, you’d get the “chicken from hell”, a newly identified feathered dinosaur …

The South Watches More Gay Porn Than You Liberals

After those long days of Mexican standoffs and train robberies, the South usually unwinds with either some chitlins or sweet tea – no one would have ever expected a good old heaping helping of steaming gay porn. As soon as …

North Carolinian Hunter Kills 500lb Hog

Every now and then our inner child jumps around like a relapsing drug addict on planet cocaine when the news showcases a wild beast like Big Foot or the Mothman that ‘proves’ to us that monsters DO exist and reality …

President Obama Interviewed On ‘Between Two Ferns’

Okay. Between Two Ferns is a deadpan internet comedy series hosted on video website Funny or Die starring comedian Zach Galifianakis as a talk show host who invites various celebrities to sit down (literally, between two ferns) for an interview on …

George Zimmerman Signs Autographs At Gun Show

A simple Google search of Zimmerman and it seems like no action of his ever goes unreported. Recent headlines include an announced but later cancelled boxing match with rapper DMX to assaulting his pregnant girlfriend. In case you’ve forgotten, George …

Taco Bell Will Start Serving Breakfast On March 27th

Step aside McGriddle, your days are numbered just like your chubby consumers – Taco Bell is stepping up and serving it fresh in the morning with a new national breakfast menu. Originally going in for test runs in roughly 800 …

Hot Pockets Recalled For Containing Diseased Animals

When you’re looking for that “crispy, crunchy, tender, flaky crust”, you know you’ve found it with a quality product like Hot Pockets… or did you? If you’ve consumed your weight (and who wouldn’t?) in Hot Pockets’ “Philly Steak and Cheese” …

RoboCop Gets A Crowdsourced Movie Remake

Are you disappointed in the new RoboCop movie? Don’t like how they managed to ruin your childhood with a PG-13 rating and a very unfamiliar and overtly “modern” looking Robocop and unfaithful storyline? How about something more absurd? Our RoboCop …

School Sorry About Black History Month Lunch Menu
· 1

Fried chicken, watermelon, and cornbread – what’s not to love for the lunch menu of Black History Month at an all-girls Catholic school? Well, when you’re Principal Nancy Libby of Carondelet High School for Girls in Concord, California, you’ll wind …

Oklahoma State Rep. Wants To Ban All Marriages

Oklahoma state representative Mike Turner (R-Edmond) may look like Sam The Wise, but don’t be fooled into thinking their feats are similar; while they both want to destroy rings that represent powerful bonds, the former wishes to end all bands …