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Angry Birds Space, Photoshop, and 5 Hour Energy

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Angry Birds Space, Photoshop, and 5 Hour Energy
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Romney: “We’re not like Etch-a-Sketch. We’re more like Hungry Hungry Hippos – we can’t stop opening our mouths.”(image) 6 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I’d be more excited about Angry Birds Space if it started with a scrolling yellow paragraph explaining what was happening.(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Came face-to-face with a pack of coyotes in my yard last night but I was able to scare them off with the smell of shit in my pants.(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I’d like to see how long Bella Swan would last in The Hunger Games.(image) 12 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Yes, 5 Hour Energy. I do know that 2:30 feeling and drinking juice out of a tiny bottle doesn’t fix it. Vodka does.(image) 2 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Tebow joining the HBO version of the Jets is like an apostle renting a condo in purgatory & hoping to change the neighborhood,(image) 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

My comforter isn’t rectangular enough so I never know which way it’s supposed to go #FirstWorldProblems(image) 1 hour ago via iTweet for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Angry Birds Space is out. The loud crash you’ll hear is not from the game. It’s the sound of world productivity plummeting thru the floor.(image) 7 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Victoria’s Secret really dropped the ball on not naming their fashion show “The Hunger Games.”(image) 3 hours ago via Tweetie for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

You’re beautiful! :) until your Photoshop 30 day trial expires..(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Class action lawsuits are like lottery tickets for people who complain a lot.(image) 30 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

they must have named my catheter after the comic strip “cathy” because it was not funny whatsoever.(image) 33 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Just got Angry Birds Space. Between now and Sunday if you need anything ask Jesus.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

There are Trump wives who have married for fewer conditions than an Apple agreement.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Yeah, I could get dressed but at some point I’ll just get undressed again so what’s the point.(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Angry Birds Space, Photoshop, and 5 Hour Energy
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