Chanukkah is the Festival of Lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
Here’s the fourth list of people who are Jewish, just like Jesus, Olaf, Punky Brewster, Scott Rudin, and me!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt enjoys eating kugel
So does Stan Lee, Jake Gyllenhaal, and the two guys who founded Google
Adam Levine wears a Jewish star
So does Drake and Seth Rogen
Goldberg has a gold yarmulke to match the belt he won from Hulk Hogan

We got Scarlett Johansson, talk about a Kosher crush
And if you need a higher voice to turn you on, how about Geddy Lee from Rush?

We may not have a cartoon with a reindeer that can talk
But we also don’t have polio, thanks to Dr. Jonas Salk (smart Jew!)

Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Chanukah
Harry Potter and his magic wand-ukah, celebrate Chanukah

Jared from Subway: God dammit, a Jew
But guess who’s Jewish and can fix him? “Loveline”’s Dr. Drew (get on it doc!)

Princess Leia cuts the challah with Queen Elsa from “Frozen”
David Beckham is the king of soccer studs and also a quarter chosen

Ron Jeremy is fully Jewish and so is his foot-long buddy
Shia LaBeouf is half a Jew but 100 percent nutty

It’s cool that Santa Claus who makes Christmas so merry
But we get two jolly fat guys: ice cream’s Ben & Jerry (both Jewish!)